This week Alan is at CCF (cadet corps) summer camp. As I dropped him off on Sunday morning it did leave me feeling quite strange. Part of me remembers doing these myself (I never did a weeks camp, but I did a few day one). I remember hating parts of it – being drilled on how immaculate my bed was for example. I never did seem to be able to tuck a blanket in so that a coin would bounce off it. And, I was always the one who forgot something, or ended up in the most mud. Other parts I clearly recall now as big and memorable experiences as a teenager – firing a proper machine gun, doing full army assaults courses, night ambush drills, trips in the back of an army truck.
But, as I was having both these sets of feelings come back from my time in the CCF to wash over me, I realised that I now added the generic parental concern of ‘I hope he’ll be ok’. Nothing especially rational about that really, and there would be little worse than wrapping kids in cotton wool. But, it’s a natural human emotion. And, I was a bit envious, if I’m honest.
It felt quite strange to simultaneously feel both excited and nervous on Alan’s behalf and nervous on my own. Anyway, I’m looking forward to when he gets back this weekend when we can hear all about it, and I can unwind the various emotions.